When it comes to making mistakes there are three types of reactions. Blamers, dwellers, and learners.
Blamers made the mistake BUT… it wasn’t their fault. Someone made them. The weather, the moon, the traffic, etc. They take no responsibility for their actions and therefore remain the same.
Dwellers just can’t let go. They mess up and will think about it endlessly. “I can’t believe I did that.” “I ruined everything.” “I’m a failure.” It’s as if they are wearing blinders to hinder seeing the bigger picture.
Then there’s the learners. A learner acknowledges a mistake and looks for ways to somehow grow from the experience. Do not mistake a optimist for a learner. It’s not always about seeing the positive, rather, what is the take away from here? What can change? How can they avoid repeating the same mistake? How can they do better?
Adolescents and teens exist in that dwelling and/or blaming phase until they develop a better ability for reasoning (and improve self esteem). As adults, we all circle through each type periodically (even if we don’t want to admit it..), but most have a go-to response. With practice, we can make being “the learner” the default response.
Could you imagine how much better the world (politics, relationships, literally everything we get our hands on!) would work if we all worked a little harder at that?
Here’s to trying!